VOCIFEROUS WAIL! a blog for performers & musicians

mariachi band serenades a beluga whale.

2011-08-12T12:37:00.001-04:00

If anyone ever lies to you and tells you that animals don't have feelings, please show them this video.

This incredible footage shows a Beluga whale having a fine day. Mariachi Connecticut, after finishing a gig at Mystic Aquarium, headed over to the whale talk to serenade the whales. This is the amazing reaction they received...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS_6-IwMPjM&feature=player_embedded

help London small labels

2011-08-09T21:02:00.000-04:00

OK Productions out of Atlanta made a request today in assistance of the independent London labels affected by the Riots.
Here's what they said...
"OK Productions would like to encourage you to support the independent labels who saw their inventory go up in smoke due to the London riots by purchasing digital tracks from the labels affected. We've always supported independent labels and musicians and they need your help right now."

I also encourage you to consider it. Perform a mitzvah and help a label out. More reading on it here...

http://www.thevinyldistrict.com/memphis/2011/08/in-the-news-how-to-help-labels-whose-inventory-was-destroyed-in-the-london-fires/

Pachelbel's revised Canon. Much better this time around.

2011-07-29T23:00:00.000-04:00

I hear from string players that Pachelbel's Canon is one of the most annoying pieces to play because it's the same darn notes over and over and over again.

So, here's a cute video on the YouTubes doing something about it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxvGz_LUKoo

meh.

2011-07-18T23:36:00.000-04:00

So not feeling it today. Or yesterday. Or Friday night.

This link below is a good sum up of what it feels like in my head this week.
My life is a cross between two lives. It's hard at times.

http://www.babble.com/mom/work-family/epic-fail-parent-baby-motherhood/

Today, Tuesday

2011-07-12T11:18:00.002-04:00

I have several friends visiting Chicago this week, and I'm more homesick than ever. It's easier to feel the pangs when the dialogue is open. Soon, they'll be boarding a plane back to ATL fresh with stories and experiences. It's hard for me not to ramble about Chicago facts when they tell me. It just a verbal purge.

There's a song I think about every time I consider my move from my home. The song is "Today, Tuesday" by Frida Hyvonon off her album Until Death Comes. In her song, Hyvonon captures the emotion of leaving your comfort zone of unconditional love to accomplish the goals that you feel are worthwhile to your well being. I think that "Today,Tuesday" fully encapsulates the isolation and loneliness that any implant feels (silicone aside).

I used to burst into tears every time I heard the song. But, I'm in a coffee shop, so I have to keep my cool. It usually gets me by the 2nd verse, so I have to turn it off...now.

Thanks to Kristin Komar and her amazing mix CD abilities for turning me onto this song. Here's Frida Hyvonen live at Motel Mozique.

American Medical Association issues a stance that photoshopped photos can be unrealistic and damaging

2011-07-08T15:10:00.000-04:00

I guess that U.S. stats for citizens with eating disorder may have reached an alarming rate, for last month the AMA issued an announcement that it is concerned about the very common practice of photoshopping images in the media.

According to the AMA website,"Advertisers commonly alter photographs to enhance the appearance of models' bodies, and such alterations can contribute to unrealistic expectations of appropriate body image – especially among impressionable children and adolescents. A large body of literature links exposure to media-propagated images of unrealistic body image to eating disorders and other child and adolescent health problems."

In addition, the New York Daily News demonstrated just how far the industry has gone to promote eating disorders in a 2009 article. In 2009, Ralph Lauren went too far when the company "touched up" a photo of a model posing. The ad embarrassed the company in which they eventually issued a public apology. As you can see for yourself, the picture, grossly distorted, is an un-human advertisement.

When was the last time you wanted to fuck a scarecrow??!

Is it the malnourished war refugee look that turns you on, or is it getting scratched by raw bone?

We will see if the AMA stance holds any weight in the upcoming years. God, I hope so. Who knows? Maybe the fashion pendulum will swing to Victorian ideals?Victorian ideals would be a welcome change.

AMA announcement: http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/news/news/a11-new-policies.page

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/fashion/2011/06/24/2011-06-24_ama_takes_stand_on_photoshop_medical_association_altering_contributes_to_unreali.html#ixzz1RNps5gvV

outdoor festival tips...

2011-07-06T12:13:00.000-04:00

For those planning on attending an outdoor music festival this summer, here's some great tips for keeping your cool. THANKS, The Onion!

Music Festival Tips

This summer promises to be a vibrant one for music festivals, due to the growing popularity of the Pitchfork Festival, Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza, and others. Here's how you can keep safe and comfortable during these multiday events:

Only take ecstasy with people you've known for part of an afternoon or longer.
Lines to the portable toilets can be unbearably long. Rig a makeshift chemical toilet in your cargo shorts using an adult diaper and formaldehyde.
For the band's sake, it's best to be within the first 15 rows if you'd like to flash your rack.
Get on a security guard's good side by complimenting him on the way he's standing there like a total asshole.
Don't be afraid to be the screaming shirtless dude in a great big funny hat. Someone always buys that guy a hot dog.
If at all disoriented, yell, "WOOOO!" until you feel well again.
The acceptable time at which a festivalgoer may sit down is after five hours if he or she is 32 years old or over, or after eight hours if he or she is between 24 and 31. There is no acceptable sit-down time for festivalgoers ages 24 and younger.
3XL poncho will allow you to make a few bucks renting out space during storms.
Remember, a positive festival experience is as simple as urinating into a jug, fiercely guarding against frottage amid the dense crowds, and staying awake for 72 hours straight to make sure people don't steal your shit.

detroit rock(s) city.

2011-07-05T15:41:00.001-04:00

I've been obsessed with Detroit lately. Okay, I wouldn't say "obsessed", maybe, interested in the fact that Detroit exists. Yes, thanks to my old pal, Dennis, I've been interested in finding out more about the changes that Detroit is experiencing, if at all. Before him, all I had to connect with Detroit was murder, mo-town and The Virgin Suicides (book or movie).

Detroit, once a mecca of industry and innovation, is now a near ghost town. Hundreds and hundreds of abandoned properties line the streets, permitting weeds and vice to take over.
A great book to check out is Ruins Of Detroit, which is a fantastic documentation of several years of Detroit's demise.
http://www.marchandmeffre.com/detroit/index.html

Dennis shared with me the stunning documentary Requiem For Detroit, a brief history and acknowledgment of the Detroit-then and Detroit-now. It includes commentary from lifelong Detroit-area residents, who've watched it all unfold. Watch it here:
http://rutube.ru/tracks/3971045.html?v=b291fb1f625e36b9863c25366e7bbda8

Even David Byrne's fascinated with the Motor City. He blogged about his experiences touring the city and its happenings. http://journal.davidbyrne.com/2010/09/092310-dont-forget-the-motor-city.html

Some Detroit citizens have taken to farming in response to the surplus of vacant lots. This is a stunning twist to the life of a once-industrial-center-of-the-world. It's astounding to think that what's next for Detroit's future is one of farmland. If you were to meet a Detroit citizen back in 1920 and tell them of what would happen to Detroit, surely, they would not believe you. I mean, would anyone really believe you?

So, if you've ever had a dream to be an organic farmer and have a gun, I know some land up north that's going for cheap.

piano player.

2011-07-03T19:03:00.000-04:00

I always wanted to play the piano. I've lots of years ahead of me. I think I would end up somewhere right of Margaret Leng Tan. Couldn't find the Satie Blues for you to hear. But, if you get a chance, look it up. Her version is haunting, beautiful.
Here's a little bit from a documentary on her, Sorceress of the New Piano.

the hardest postcard I ever wrote.

2011-06-29T17:08:00.000-04:00

I was in Kroeger this morning when my cashier asked me if I wanted to "round up" my purchase and donate it to the USO. Essentially, they assist soldiers with whatever funds they have.

I've seen the initials around, but I never knew exactly what it did. I knew it had something to do with troops and entertainment, or something.

The USO is an non-profit organization set to "lift the spirits" of U.S. troops and their families.

After I answered "yes" to the cashier, she handed me a postcard. She told me that this already stamped envelope will be sent to a soldier, and that I could write a message on it.
I accepted the postcard. My mind went blank.
"What on earth do I say?" I asked the cashier.
"Something optimistic," she said.

Sure. That makes sense. I mean, I know better than to use the words "quagmire" "FUBAR" or "freedom" on it. Sure. But, if I were to write an optimistic message of hope to a stranger, what would it be?

Would my message sound like a fortune cookie?
Would that person take my postcard and insensitively read it aloud to their buddies, with the buddies exclaiming "in bed" to every sentence?

OK- I don't know any veterans or soldiers. But, I do comprehend how difficult it is to bring peace back into daily life after serving a line of duty.
My mind goes back to the soldiers deposited from duty into a community that is ill-equipped and under-funded to handle their needs.

My Grandfather was a man who was never permitted to recover from the war. When he returned to Michigan from WWII, he could not stay there. The Michigan forests that surrounded his farm were too ominous, too threatening, to trust. He had to stay with family in Chicago, where the dull colors of concrete and brick could shield him. I grew up knowing that when my Grandfather napped, I could not play too loud or drop large things. For, if he woke up because of an unexpected sound, it would be very bad. He woke up startled and prepared for combat, even well into his sixties.

So, my message to a random soldier somewhere in the world:
"If the transition home is too difficult, don't be afraid to ask for help for yourself. You are honoring yourself in the process. Don't be afraid to ask others for help. You deserve peace of mind."

If the recipient chooses to mock my intentions, well.... I'll never know, anyhow.

http://www.uso.org/

mijwiz-ical explorations in sound...

2011-06-27T21:34:00.003-04:00

The Father's Day gift that Robert bought for himself arrived in the mail today. He wanted an Egyptian Mijwiz. We bought it for $4. According to its manual, it's a double-pipe instrument made of bamboo cane. It's a staple in Arabic music and can often be heard in belly dancing music alongside a doumbek.
The sound it makes is a cross between an alto saxophone and death.

Listening to Robert spend an hour and a half trying to get a sound out of it was the equivalent of importing ten fourth graders learning the clarinet into my living room. I thought that I had years before I would have to be irritated by someone learning an instrument. It's like a legato stabbing.
Well, Robert's always vigilant about learning a new instrument (although it's usually a percussion instrument), but this is...hard.
He'll master it soon enough. We have a 100 pack of earplugs to keep me company.
Here's what it is supposed to sound like, and doesn't:

Here's Robert's best shot...

Viva Stonewall!

2011-06-26T00:54:00.000-04:00

This weekend marks the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots.
But, in Atlanta, you'd never know it. See, in ATL, Gay Pride is celebrated on Halloween weekend.

In Atlanta, due to "scheduling conflicts" of booking the location (okay, and a drought), Piedmont Park wasn't available in late June to coincide with Stonewall. Instead, the Pride Committee agreed with ATL to move it to Halloween. Atlanta, despite being the San Fran of the South, hasn't been great at hiding it's homophobia (see Atlanta Raids below).

Gay Pride festivals began because of the Stonewall Riots in 1969. The Stonewall Riots started with gay bar patrons being sick and tired of being treated like crap. According to civilrights.org, chants like, "gay power" were shouted.
Back in the day, all of those gay bars were owned by the Mob. And, can you imagine how demeaning it would have been to have your gay club owned and monitored by the Mob? Imagine, if you could, some guy in a suit telling you that you better not dance too close to someone else.

The Stonewall Riots sparked LGBT activism. It created not only a dialogue about equal rights and change, but the energy to make the change happen. Pride Festivals throughout the nation occur on the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. And, this year, there's even more cause to celebrate. A new law was passed in New York state accepting gay marriage! It occurred right smack dab near the anniversary of Stonewall, almost as a sign.

And, me? Yeah, I'm a staunch supporter of gay rights. I'd rather sit down with you over a nice cup of coffee and explain all of the reasons why I think it's so important. Long conversation short? I don't think any of us are free until all of us are free; love is love.

Here's Robert and I dressed up as bride and groom performing to bring attention to an Illinois Civil Unions law about to voted on as legislation.

So, this weekend -whatever your orientation- raise a glass in honor of gay pride, in recognition of self-love and acceptance. Remember: love is love, no "buts".

More reading for you:
New Legislation! http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/nyregion/the-road-to-gay-marriage-in-new-york.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&hp

Stonewall: http://www.civilrights.org/archives/2009/06/449-stonewall.html

Open Letter Re: Change of Pride Month: http://atlantapride.org/archives/79

Atlanta Raids: http://www.ajc.com/news/atlanta/lawsuit-police-erased-evidence-686253.html

friends don't let friends...

2011-06-23T14:55:00.002-04:00

Roger Ebert, the Chicago movie guy, was criticized by Perez Hilton for posting a tweet about Ryan Dunn's death. http://twitter.com/#!/ebertchicago
Perez Hilton deemed it as "insensitive."
But, Dunn chose to endanger the lives of the Pennsylvania community he drove through when choosing to drive home drunk and at an unrealistic speed. It was his choice to make. Those roads could have been the roads that I travel with my children in tow.

Through his public stance, Perez promotes a lifestyle of poor decisions and the reckless denial of responsibility in any form. This destructive, carefree rock 'n roll image needs to end. It's cute when you're twenty-three, kinda depressing when you're in your mid-thirties.

For anyone out of the loop, Ryan Dunn was of Jackass fame. This was a dude that made millions performing pranks, such inserting Matchbox cars into his ass for a laugh (the x-ray was pretty funny). He was found dead after driving home drunk and slamming his Porsche into a lot of trees at a lethal speed. The car burst into flames, killing Dunn and his passenger.

The trouble with the rock and roll lifestyle is the perpetuation of immature decisions far past the participant's age (for reference see Aerosmith aka arthritic lizards in leather). In the end, it just seems to excuse alcoholism and drug abuse and the situations that occur in between that we, as a society, have to pick up after. In addition, it's also sad that both Dunn and his passenger's families have to suffer.

Dunn was 34 at death, far beyond the age group of dangerous drivers. Usually, it's teenage boys that are most at risk for dangerous driving. According to the CDC, of the teenage boys (ages 15-20) who were involved in fatal crashes in 2005, 37% were speeding at the time of the crash and 26% had been drinking. The CDC also claims that, "teenage male passengers increase the possibility of risky driving behavior."
But, after age 30, most people assume you would have figured it out.

What people and movie stars do on their own time is their own business.
However, when you involve the safety of my family it becomes my business. Here are some stats, according to MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving):
-An average drunk driver has driven drunk 87 times before first arrest. 87 times.
-One in three will be involved in an alcohol-related crash in their lifetime.
-Every minute, one person is injured from an alcohol-related crash. It just happened
    again...now.
-Of those injuries, in this year, 10,839 people will die in drunk-driving crashes - one every 50
   minutes.

and one stat for your wallet...
-Drunk driving costs each adult in this country almost $500 per year.

Fucking say what you want about this post. Maybe it makes me lame or whatever adjective the kids are using for "lame" these days. But, it's a malattia in our society.

Ebert, there's no need to apologize. It's true. Friends don't let friends drive drunk. It's tragedy that both of these deceased people left their families behind to pick up the pieces. I wish their families a swift healing.

http://www.cdc.gov/MotorVehicleSafety/Teen_Drivers/teendrivers_factsheet.html
http://www.madd.org/statistics/

time and motherhood.

2011-06-21T00:01:00.001-04:00

My generation is postponing motherhood probably longer than any time previously in history of human nature. I never wanted to be one of those women who waited until 39 and then decided to want to have kids. "Blah blah blah career. Blah blah blah money. Blah blah blah never the right time. Blah blah blah promotion."

I chose to have my darling child now and I have no regrets. And for me, when your husband is also in the band, it's really hard to keep things together sometimes. There's no one to fall back on and watch the kids while you're out playing a show.

It has moments of frustration. Moments of anger. Moments of feeling sad that you have no other musicians that you feel you can connect with. There are moments when it just fucking sucks and there's nothing that you can do about it. There are, of course, more beautiful moments than bad.

I went out tonight and I can't tell you how good it felt to have a beer sitting outside on a sizzling summer night. I had only 6 minutes of talking shop about music and it felt so fucking good, I cannot even tell you.

Happy Father's Day, Robert!

2011-06-20T00:00:00.000-04:00

I've dodged the ode to Fathers all over the place on Facebook. It's still Father's Day for another 50 minutes. Maybe I'll just throw it all down on my little bloggy blog.

I want to acknowledge my partner in crime today on Father's Day because he downright deserves it. He's a fantastic father and I couldn't have asked for a better mate.
Robert, you're great father and I hope our children realize how lucky they are. You never hesitate to play 'trucks' or run outside or have fun with her.
Although she has you totally wrapped around her itty bitty baby finger, you still do a great job.

It is not easy being a musician while parenting. Musicians thrive off night life, and children go to bed early. It's not always easy to get a sitter. Sometimes we just have to wait for her to go to bed to play music, which can be tough.
Our childless friends no longer understand us and/or our obligations.

You and I have had a wild adventure morphing from bar patrons to Chuck E. Cheese patrons. It's not bad and we do what we do. Still, things are different now. Your ability to go with the flow is what I admire about you. Robert, you're amazing and I love you.

Ok, enough gushing. Tomorrow I'll go back to bitching about an 'ism' or something.

Here's the card the Baby and I drew for Robert. Little Baby told me what to draw and I drew
it. She wanted me to draw her in her Elmo shirt holding her Kitty Cat...

a nod to the High Llamas

2011-06-19T00:26:00.000-04:00

Feeling nostalgic today. Gonna highlight one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite bands, The High Llamas. They were one of my all time favorite live shows. I saw them on my birthday one year, right after a Reiki class (after I had my Level 2 attunement).

But, to me, they're a lesson in band longevity. The High Llamas have been together alllll the way since the beginning, like 1990.Here's a video for Bach Ze, off Snowbug. yay!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j3O4X0CkWw&feature=fvwrel

Tips for achieving prosperity.

2011-06-16T22:38:00.000-04:00

Ode, the Intelligent Optimist Magazine community, has great suggestions about how to turn your dreams into reality by Sheila Radha Conrad.

Here's what she says...
Tip #1: Make a list of things you would need to feel prosperous in your life. By writing out your ideas, you’re taking the first practical step to achieving them. Once on paper, they’re no longer thoughts but actions you’re willing to take.

Tip #2: Next to the list of things you need to create prosperity in your life, write why you don’t feel you can achieve them. What we believe about ourselves comes across in our actions.

Tip #3: To bring that good idea into reality, write down and say out loud actions you are willing to do to create prosperity in your life. When you do so, you engage your senses, which helps those thoughts stay with you quicker and for longer periods of time.

Just a little upbeat motivation to keep the rhythm.
Read the whole article here:http://www.odemagazine.com/exchange/6718/3_tips_for_achieving_prosperity

our day will come.

2011-06-15T21:21:00.001-04:00

This month marks Robert and my 10th anniversary together as a couple. Although our official anniversary is the fall, we fell in love in the summer. We always gauged our anniversary to be somewhere near Pride weekend (which isn't here yet, but well on it's way).

When I think of the early months after we fell in love, I think of this song. I think about how we both just wanted the time to just fly so that we would have the years established between us. I never imagined that I would ever know what "it" felt like.

rainy days and mondays.

2011-06-14T22:46:00.000-04:00

Not in the most optimistic of moods. In fact, I'm feeling pretty dismal. I guess that this is the beauty of a blog, the realness of it. What I'm about to say makes me feel vulnerable and I still feel weird posting it. But, who the fuck knows if anyone even reads this thing. It's one more screen in a massive sea of blogs out there.

I guess before this blog post, I've had the happy-go-lucky view that everything works out in the end, and spin it to represent that. I guess my blog emits a "yay, things are happy all the time!" vibe. I don't fucking know.

I've spent years believing that blogs were simply for narcissists or teenagers who believe that the world gives a shit about them. Whether I'm just one more malcontent in front of a laptop is yet to be determined.

I once read a blog-turned-book about a kook on meds who became a mother. Her blog topic was her journey of dealing with postpartum depression. She ended up being institutionalized somewhere in between. I never took her book out of the library because it was a pretty easy read and I didn't need to.

Today, I feel lost in a sea of nobodys. Musicians want to play music. I've put so much time into this music career. So much effort into my music career. And, for what? So far, for fucking nothing. And, I'm getting older and wiser and I'm feeling the pinch.

I had piss and vinegar for dinner tonight. And, now it's all coming out.

farwell to a banjo.

2011-06-13T14:01:00.000-04:00

I purchased you at a party several years ago. A woman walked into the kitchen, where I was conversing and asked if anyone wanted to buy a banjo. I shouted without thinking, "yes!" and pulled out my checkbook from my purse. She asked for $35 and told me that it had once belonged to her step-father who recently died of diabetes. He loved that banjo. A sad story but, I knew that I could provide a loving home for you.

Yesterday, we noticed that the gorgeous wood around your drum was white and sandy to the touch. Mold. I stood holding you, stunned, unaware of what lies next for you.

This is not the first time the Demon Mold has tried to take a musical instrument from us. You are not the first casualty. It has happened to us before.

We, Chicagoans, have not acclimated well to the Southern climate that chooses to grow mold whenever and wherever it chooses. And, we're all left spellbound in its path. We have lost things along the way; shoes, purses. But you, banjo, were a stunning discovery.

Robert once opened a show with you and he playing Black Sabbath's War Pigs. The audience loved it. And, when Robert picked your strings during the first interlude, you made the melody somehow beautiful.

It's not fair. You are too young. There are so many more choruses you can pluck.

I will apply grapefruit seed oil to you in an attempt to save your beautiful appearance, your dignity. I will place you in front of a dehumidifier. But, I do not know how hard your wood grains are willing to fight. Only time will tell.
Rufuah shlema.

Congress Hires Drummer.

2011-06-12T20:42:00.003-04:00

This oughtta fix all of our budget problems. From the Onion Archives...
Congress Hires Drummer.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-hires-drummer,20597/

found sounds all over town.

2011-06-11T03:28:00.000-04:00

I recently wrote about found sounds, of taking rhythms of sounds from nature or traffic or whatever. An example I mentioned was Jive Talkin' by the Bee Gees, who wrote the song though listening to the sound their car's tires made while driving on a bridge. According to Wikipedia, the song was originally called "Drive Talkin'", which is just silly.

Truth be told, musicians do it all the time. They either don't want to mention it and chalk it up to their own genius, or perhaps just to hide their inspiration style. It's been done millions of times, throughout history, throughout the world.

Take, for instance, my bedroom ceiling fan. I think that it had the best rhythms ever. It's always off-tempo and never repeats the same sound patterns. Still, the rhythms are contagious. My ceiling fan is a chance musical prodigy that has never been discovered.
Of course, there are variables to its sound and I've had a blast figuring those variables out.

Guitar World Critique.

2011-06-09T23:21:00.002-04:00

So, we recently received a gift subscription to Guitar World Magazine and Vintage Guitar, which are now being delivered to our household. Anyone who took a glance would realize that the audience both magazines are trying to reach are male and in a certain "mindset". Typically, that mindset seems to be one of sexism and adolescence. I know, this is nothing new.

There's a genuine absence of female presence in this magazine. It's amazing how excluded a female musician would feel after reading one of these magazines. But, just to count for sure, (ever the studious feminist am I), I decided that I would analyze the month to month issues, continuously. Here's my first study of the magazine Guitar World.
I analyzed the May and July 2011 issues (I cannot find the June 2011 issue in the recycling bin).

-In the May 2011, there is one woman in the copy of the magazine.
The only mention was part of an interview with Sharon Osbourne, wife of Ozzy, discussing Randy Rhodes. The article was titled "The Wizard of Oz", written by which was about Randy Rhodes (author not mentioned).

-There was one other female (no face, just a swollen pair of breasts). The breasts were in a tight shirt in a band t-shirt ad located in the back of the magazine.
The same company altered their ad in Acoustic Guitar Magazine, with a picture of a whole woman, this time wearing a baggier shirt. Acoustic Guitar also seems to have more women in their ads.

-In Guitar World June 2011, there was no woman mentioned or pictured, aside from the friendly breasts in the ad section. Not one woman, just some body parts.

Robert says that he feels that Guitar World is dumbing down its articles, as well. Robert, who read Guitar World as an actual adolescent, said that the magazine used to have musical notation, not tabs. Today, there is no notation of the monthly songs, only tablature (tabs).
"Not that every musician needs to be able to read music. But, this will foster a whole generation who may not know how to," he says.

I welcome your comments.
I'll write more on Vintage Guitar soon. As for now, G'nite.

you have nothing to lose...

2011-06-07T16:31:00.000-04:00

I'm getting a little sentimental. I was poking around the internet googling my name, seeing what came up. The picture below popped up and I immediately knew. It had been a few years since I saw it...

Back home years ago, Robert and I decided that we needed more that what Chicago could offer us. We decided that we could have more for our band if we left the state. We wanted to be a bigger fish in a smaller pond, instead of the other way around. We were a little uncomfortable about our decision, though we both knew that there was nothing that could stop us.

The six months before we split Chicago for somewhere else (we still weren't entirely sure WHERE we were moving yet), someone kept spray painting this phrase all over Wicker Park and Ukranian Village. This phrase helped qualm the uncertainty of leaving my family. This phrase justified me squeezing in as much time and memories as I could with them.
It was inspiring and to me, a personal message.

After we moved out of our apartment, we put our items in storage and spent time with family and friends (thanks Dennis and Angela!!!). In the remaining time, we created and finished an album with Miguel Torres and William Bradford Simons (This Balance), wrote another album while couch-surfing (Displaced Ghost Lodgers). We visited the city we were sure was "the one". We signed a lease and gave our security deposit to an old man whom we hoped was not a con artist. We headed back to Chicago and did a cross-country move with our pets. We
bought a car, got married, moved and settled into our new environment. Not too bad.

So, for all of you considering drastic changes to your music or your lifestyle, I offer this picture up as comfort.

It's true.

more on (moron) writer's block.

2011-06-06T15:34:00.001-04:00

There comes a time when it's just not coming out. The creative juices: they just aren't flowing.
So, how do continue creating when you're feeling tapped out? Easy. Robert and I have used one foolproof technique throughout the years, and it's never failed us; a chord encyclopedia.

Assuming that you are using a guitar to write new songs, a Guitar Encyclopedia can be your best friend. The Guitar Encyclopedia's use is actually two-fold. Using it, you can assemble a new song. You can also push yourself, technique-wise, through finding new (or forgotten about) chords.

Robert and I have created beautiful songs with this technique. We find the crazy suspended fifths. But, we also find five billion versions of a G minor chord, one that might be close to another interesting chord. I advocate playing around with this idea. You might find yourself pleasantly surprised.

I know that Robert's going to correct me on my usage of those chord examples. He'll usually do it in passing, too, like when he passes me in the hallway or something.
Bet I just made him smirk.

Black Girls Rock!

2011-06-03T00:04:00.004-04:00

I was poking around the internet a moment ago on Digg. On page 2 was a link titled: "Bitches love Dolfins". I immediately ended my search on that site right then and there. How dare some stranger try to decimate me by making such a phrase? This senseless debasing shit has to stop.
Furthermore, the pathetic attempt to sublimate women in the guise of humor has got to stop.

Luckily, my next google search had more success. My next stop was at Black Girls Rock! Black Girls Rock! is a non-profit organization fixed on helping to mentor and encourage the healthy development of pre-pubescent and teenage girls. http://blackgirlsrockinc.com/live/
Part of the programs that they provide include:
-Black Girls Rock! QUEENS’ CAMP: FOR LEADERSHIP & EXCELLENCE,
-Black Girls Rock!‘I Rhyme Like a Girl’: the writing, critical thinking, creativity, and social expression program in Brooklyn NY
-THE BLACK GIRLS ROCK! College Tour
-'I Rhyme Like A Girl' Poetry Workshop
and...
-THE BLACK GIRLS ROCK! Scratch DJ Academy

These programs are all designed to foster self-esteem, self-love and to push the girls to reach new intellectual heights.

They have t-shirts for sale. They boast that their t-shirt was worn on Real Housewives of Atlanta. Unfortunately, they're going to have to dig a LOT deeper for self-respect than that if they want to prove their point.

However, I then found the Black Girls Rock! Pledge, and my confidence in the organization was restored. Written by the sunny Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, the pledge is demand for self-love and self-actualization, something every teen girl should possess. http://blackgirlsrockinc.com/live/node/46

"Seems kinda silly. Why would this organization be needed?" some may say.

Because somebody on a computer decided to underestimate every woman they know by writing "bitches love dolfins".
That's why.

a word about tattoos...

2011-06-02T08:21:00.002-04:00

I got my first tattoo the week that I was legally able to under Illinois law. It's still one of my favorites.
No one talks about it much, but tattoos send out that subliminal street cred. They look great from stage. My very first tattoo; I like to flash it from stage every now and then. It's just hidden enough to be sexy but can only be shown when I want it to be visible. My own little secret.

Now, as a newer-ish mother, the tattoo rules have changed a bit. I would have never imagined that my daughter would want to emulate me or draw her own little toddler tattoos all over her tiny little arms.

In fact, any chance that she gets a marker in her hands, she's writing all over her arms and legs. I can't yell at her or I'd be a hypocrite. After all, Mommy and Daddy have pretty pictures all over their bodies. Why wouldn't she want that, too?

So, I'm just saying... consider the fact that if you ever want children someday, there is a GOOD chance that little he/she will be drawing all over themselves emulating what you have on your own arms. So, if that means flaming skulls or monkeys riding tricycles, you have to make peace with that. Just don't yell at them when they do it.

Robert here. I just wanted to add that I can't wait for our little one to get her first tattoo. It'll be so exciting taking her to the shop and helping her pick one out. Or helping her draw it herself. That will be a lot of fun. When she's 18 and wants her first tattoo, that will be Daddy's birthday present to her. If she wants one. If she doesn't want any ink done, well that's totally cool too. Robert, over and out.
Well, we'll see. And, I'm out too.
xoxo
-me

old school face-off: Denver's Rocky Mountain High gets a kick from the BeeGee's Jive Talkin'

2011-06-01T00:43:00.002-04:00

I found myself in a used bookstore last week and I picked up a rock trivia book. I just couldn't resist. Rock Stars Do The Dumbest Things by Margaret Moser and Bill Crawford is a great rainy day read.

Robert found it this morning and began reading about John Denver.
According to Moser & Crawford, Denver decided to take acid one day and ride around on his motorcycle (yes, John Denver had a motorcycle). He penned Rocky Mountain High from his experience. That song came out of his experience driving on mountainous land in Aspen, Colorado tripping his balls off.

Of all the crazy behavior I read in that book, I have to admit that I was a little shocked when I read that. Sure, what kind of dum-dum does acid and then rides a motorcycle on a mountain? However, I was more shocked at the calm sound he created. I would have expected more of a harsher, even crisper song. Sure, it depends on what time of the year he decided to take his trip. If it was fall or winter, his saliva and sweat probably would have frozen to his face, I imagine. Sounds like some good inspiration right there.

Hell, even the BeeGees were inspired by nature. They wrote the beginning guitar part of Jive Talkin' from the rhythmic pattern that car tires made crossing a Miami bridge.
But, I suppose we musicians all react separately to our experiences in nature.

Here. Compare for yourself.
John Denver

and here are the BeeGee's version of nature.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBw25CrUS-o&feature=related

the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame actually acknowledges that women, in fact exist AND can play music

2011-05-31T00:08:00.000-04:00

On the Ms. Magazine blog, Audrey Bilger made a mention this month about the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame's recent exhibit titled, "Women Who Rock" which opened May 13th.

Personally, I’ve been to Cleveland once and visited only 2 places: the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (intentional) and the Cleveland Taco Bell (by default).

Let me tell you about my experience at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame...
My group and I paid our admission fee and made our way through the exhibits. They had some good stuff: the guitar that was smashed on the Clash's London Calling cover (ok- you know how I feel about that), Bjork's suit worn on Post, a couple of David Bowie outfits. That's all I really remember, aside from the anger.

The anger came from the total isolation I felt being a female paying admission to the place. It was pretty clear that there wasn't too many women included in rock music here at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. And, to a female performer/musician like myself, visiting the place was pretty much like walking through a Guitar Player magazine. Guitar Player Magazine isolated me years and years ago. I was so disgusted on my visit that I actually demanded a comment card to write on at the front desk! Yeah, I’m sure that went right up to Wenner.

Well, I suppose the years and years of complaints made the curators of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame consider that perhaps women actually can and do play rock music, too! Well, I'll be! Our feminine prayers have been answered!

No, I will not be schlepin' up any time soon to visit.

Here's a intro about the exhibit, fresh from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame website:
"Women have arguably become the leading voices of the industry, standing -- army-booted, bare-footed, or high-heeled stiletto -- toe to toe with any artist of today."

Wow, "leading voice"? Really? Is that all it took? Are we REALLY there already?

If that's the truth, why are we ALWAYS ignored on any music magazine cover: Guitar Player (whoa, ladies play music,too?) or Vintage Guitar (what's a lady?) or Modern Drummer (but, then who's going to help them carry my cases out of the stage door?) or ugh... Rolling Stone (weight limit of 85 lbs., ladies).

Yeah, we're totally there, aren't we? I can tell you, MYSELF, from the comments I've received throughout the years from male musicians (we'll cover that in another post) that we are nowhere near our destination. We're not even in the same time zone.

I was also unimpressed with the Cleveland Taco Bell.

Here's what Ms. Magazine has to say about it:
http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2011/05/12/we-know-women-rock-tell-us-something-new/

chance music

2011-05-30T00:31:00.001-04:00

I'm sick of the same old stuff. Robert and I want to play something different. We've been thinking a lot about "chance music" or aleatoric music, lately - it's roots, beginnings and such.

Famous cases of chance music was created simply by throwing a bunch of sheet music on the floor with set musical patterns, and playing what was on the sheets as they were picked up in order; a musical pick up sticks. Sometimes total crap comes out of it. But, sometimes, beauty emerged. The perceived quality is irrelevant. What is relevant is that something new and wholly original is being created.

Probably, the most recognizable of chance music moments came from The Beatles song 'A Day In The Life', the last track off Sgt. Pepper. Leading up to the end of the song, there is a 40-piece orchestra that swells and finishes the song. The orchestra had only a certain amount of time to fill in the song.

Robert wants you to refer to the dodecaphonics wikipedia page, basically they had to use all 12 notes before a note could be repeated. The idea was that there was no key, no resolution and no one note was more important than another. Imagine if we could get that concept right in society.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-tone_technique

creativity and insanity (but the voices already told you it was true).

2011-05-29T00:11:00.001-04:00

One predominant stereotype amongst musicians, writers, artists and other creative types is that we're supposedly unbalanced or downright bonkers.

Are all creative people nuts? Here's an article from the Dana Institute suggesting that dopamine connections could potentially spell out a link between bipolar disorder and creative thinking.http://www.dana.org/news/features/detail.aspx?id=28858

get you s*#@ off my stage!

2011-05-27T18:39:00.001-04:00

At a show last night, before we got on the stage. I had a teensy bit of a hissy fit before our set. Some one in the band scheduled to play before after ours had placed their amp on the side of the stage, a few inches from the wall. Our set-up was without a full drum set, so we said it was okay for the other band to store a couple of their items on stage to minimize their set-up time.

Me? I felt that it was a tripping hazard and it was in MY WAY. And, you know me, I have a couple of specifications necessary for me to be comfortable before the show. I like a long mic cord to travel where I want to go while performing. I like a lot of space on stage to roll around, should the mood strike me. I have other minor requests, too, but I digress...
This guitar amp was in MY space. It was a threat to my territory.

So, I tried to move the amp, to pick it up. It wasn't a half-stack, but it was heavy as hell. That thing wasn't budging. I did what I usually do when I can't pick up a heavy piece of musical instrument; I tried to push it with my leg. I probably looked somewhat similar to how our genetic cousins, the monkeys, trying to manipulate objects. My rudimentary way was also to no avail.

So, I asked Bassist to move the amp to the back of the stage, far from my path. He said that he wouldn't. Robert, ever the peacemaker, tried to convince me to reconsider. I told him that it was in my way and would have to move. Bassist backed him up saying that it's bad form, bad band relations. However, I was far from reasoning. I told him that if someone didn't move it, I was going to do it myself, any limb I could.

I totally pulled a Diva Threat and stated that I wasn't going on stage until it was sufficiently out of my way (FYI- be wiser than I am and don't do that). Bassist was kind enough to acquiese and moved the amp to the back stage wall. All was right with the world.

Didn't stick around long enough to see if there were any repercussions from my Diva Threat. You can share a stage with me. But, be a hero and make sure your stuff is hugging the wall.

press kits were once tossable

2011-05-27T00:23:00.002-04:00

How do I write this shit without sounding prematurely antiquated? I really have no idea.
Okay, I was walking through a box store today and saw a great price on a large circle (?) of bubble wrap. I thought about buying it for a second, perhaps for press kits.
And, then that split second vanished and I remembered that I had lived through a time where band press kits were actually concrete objects that could be thrown away in a trash can.

Isn't that amazing - the fact that band press kits almost entirely obsolete? For the kids out there who don't know what a dinosaur, physical press kit contained, let me tell you. Naturally, it contained your band's latest CD or demo. The kit also had a large sized photo of the band from a professional photographer. It also contained a bio and a cover letter. The outside casing of your press kit was the fun part. As you were trying to make your band stand out from the rest, you wanted to have some kind of envelope or container that made your press kit different when it arrived in the mail to its destination; pizza boxes, shiny envelopes, you get the idea.

It was about 6 years ago that Robert predicted that press kits and CDs would be only download-able.I smirked at him and rolled my eyes. I know that I'm not really that tech-savvy, but I never saw it coming.

I was young and snide and working at a college radio station when 9/11 happened. Almost immediately after 9/11, a surplus of hysterical cornball, patriotic CDs flew in from all corners of the country. We (at the station) kept a special bin in the station for those submissions, musicians trying to ride the patriotism wave. They were mostly country bands or singer/songwriters. Very, very bad bands. The pictures were even worse.

We DJs would play some songs from the bin when we were feeling cheeky. But, even when I wanted to play those CDs, I still worried about karma in the back of my mind. I worried that somewhere, in whatever college radio station that I had submitted my own demo to had threw our CD in the 'bad' pile. And, even if I'd never know for sure, the thought was still daunting. All because I chose to mock the 'Johnny American Flag Bandanna Four'.

Now, with EPKs and MP3s and digital files and whatever, we're no longer competing for desk space. Today we're competing for inbox space, and we know that it's all too easy to be erased forever from an inbox. The worries of my band being a laughing stock at the music office (fill in whatever label/distribution company/PR firm that you want) that day has diminished.
I don't know what kinda karma that I've incurred from my snide radio station days. Perhaps now I can breathe easy that my physical CDs are not resting, unsettled, in a "crap" bin somewhere.
I hope.

brick wall and rail road track shots (don't do it!)

2011-05-25T23:59:00.002-04:00

I don't want to make you paranoid or anything, but when it's time to get new press kit photos, think REALLY HARD about your background setting.
Two things I will never permit in a photo shoot, no matter what: a brick wall and rail road tracks.

Why? Because of this website, that's why.
http://www.rockandrollconfidential.com/hall/index.php

Check it out for some potent motivation on what NOT to do in a photo shoot.
It's also immature and vicious at times. Be warned that some comments may be offensive.
Oh, and this site is also addictive. You will easily find yourself clicking on every picture until you run out of them.

London Calling: old thoughts, new blog

2011-05-24T22:57:00.000-04:00

19-fucking-79. The year that this album was released in the UK. Any time that I lose steam; with my creativity, with my purpose, I put on this album. The guitar, supported by passive yet steady drums, strums out a staccato warning. From there the song, the album - the concept - begins. London Calling is everything. Yes, I'm probably the 9,000,000,000th blogger to type out the incredible-ness of this album. Eh, so what?

This is Robert and I driving around Chicago listening to it, thinking of new songs to write, emulating it's style, it's message. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiVvA9YQpiI

band girlfriend 3 CONCLUSION: a little male feedback

2011-05-23T23:01:00.000-04:00

A musician friend who wants to call himself "Perry Rambunctious" wants his chance to explain his side. Yes, Mr. Perry Rambunctious wants to talk a bit about band girlfriends, but particularly the ones he's dated. And, the band girls that he dates? "There fine as long as they're not bitches and playing with your head."

Mr. Rambunctious says that although band girlfriends are always going to be around, that
doesn't mean that they belong at practices. "If she's never seen me play, it can be nerve-wracking," says Mr. Rambunctious.

In addition, he's not fond of clingy girls during show time. "Not while I'm trying to mingle," he adds. He warns that when he's about to go into "show mode" that he won't be as responsive or may be in his own world. This is something that the Band Girlfriend may not understand.

Mr. Rambunctious states that overall every girl he's dated has been supportive. He says, "they let me do my thing." But, he can see the forest through the trees. Conversely, he continues, "I'm glad that I date crazy women, because perhaps it's fodder." Maybe.

Support Your Local Band's Girlfriend Part 2

2011-05-22T22:15:00.000-04:00

I think what makes it plausible is having an inner confidence or, perhaps, a life of your own.
A bonus is having your own interests and your own set of friends. Having shared friends is cool, but if you two don’t make it to the next level, a bitter fraternal custody battle may ensue with you having to rebuild everything.

For further inspection on a rock girlfriend, I asked my good friend, D, for her insight on the lifestyle. D met her former boyfriend who was in a very successful touring band from a local city. She didn't know who he was or who his band was, which impressed him. They began a long-term relationship despite his constant touring.

D grew tired of the lifestyle quickly. She grew tired of the other band girlfriends and their constant talk of dieting. She was more interested in discussing feminism or belly dancing.

When I asked her what was the worst part of her relationship, she told me of a time when she went against her wishes and went to one of his shows.
Fresh in town from a long tour, he had a weekend show in Atlanta, and he wanted to see her. She didn't want to leave her town and hated the long drive in between. She decided to do the drive and when she arrived, he pretty much ignored her the whole night. Her man was busy schmoozing and letting the fawning girls fawn. That was when she realized that it was she who did not belong in his world, in the scene.

A couple of suggestions for you if you think your musical crush could go further than a love buzz. I'm not speaking to the dating hedonists, here. I'm talking to the level-headed ladies looking to eventually nest. Above all, tread very cautiously. Leaving a dating scene is WAY easier in the first month than it is in the first year. Remember that and read on:

-Pick a guy who has his shit together or a relatively good idea of what he wants to do with his life. You can find that out by asking him. If there's too many "uh" or "ums": heave ho, sister. Don't look into his eyes when he says it, either, or you'll change your mind.

-Leave the guys who, also insecure, use their band as an ego boost. As I grow older, the real musicians stay true to their craft and their way of life, moving forward towards their paid career as a musician. The people still paying off their equipment at Guitar Center seem to disappear sooner rather than later. Eh, you don't want to inherit (via marriage) that half-stack he's still paying off in mostly interest, anyways.

-Furthermore, don’t bet on a losing horse. If you suspect your potential boyfriend may have difficulties keeping his wang in his pants, I’d move on no matter how badly you want to lick the post-show sweat off of him. You’re the one whose going to suffer as you wait for him to come home from practice. This is an issue of self-love, ladies. He may never have the empathy to understand why you're mad at him for staying up late worrying about where he's been. In the end, it truly isn't worth it.

I'll continue the rest of this conversation in one more post...

Support Your Local Band's Girlfriend Part 1

2011-05-21T22:13:00.001-04:00

Before taking a deeper look at the Band Girlfriend, I was ready to condemn all of them as grown-up little girls with Daddy issues. But there is no way to make such a generalization. True, most of my experiences with the Band Girlfriend have been unpleasant. However, I am sure that there are some of you out there with level heads looking for kindred spirits when you end up dating a musician.

My own experiences with the Band Girlfriend is not as hopeful. It's hard enough being a chick a band, despite having to deal with the women my bandmates are attached to.
I like to think that I've come to a Zen-like calm when it comes to approaching band mate's significant others. Nowadays, I think I'm completely civil with them and at peace with them. Before, when I was much younger, I probably wasn't very tactful about them.
From what I've experienced, Band Girlfriends run the gamut from "manipulatively insecure" to "cool with everything because I have to be".

I just finished the autobiography by Patti Boyd called Wonderful Tonight. In her words she chronicles her life as wife of George Harrison and the guy she left him for, Eric Clapton. And, while the book was written in her version, it's hard not to see her side as tragic. Sure, she had the pleasure of knowing that the world wanted to go down on her husband. She had no money worries and traveled anywhere.

Still, she stated that she never expressed to either Clampton or Harrison that it bothered her that they slept with other women, primarily while they were on tour. In her words, she figured that while Clapton was on the road that sex with other women was just that and nothing more. She confessed that she never spoke up to state her most basic of needs to her man: that he refrained from impregnating others (which Clampton did a couple a couple of times).
Sure, Boyd's experience is truly the most dramatic of examples, as I'm sure there are musicians capable of keeping their parts enclosed. OK, Boyd did have Daddy Issues.

I've wondered often enough if it took a special kind of woman to date a musician when she is not in the creative arts field. It can be a seedy world full of STDs and unkept promises. It doesn't have to be, but choose the right man-child and it assuredly will be.

Knowing myself, if I was not a musician and didn't know the routine, it is a role that I could never fulfill. Being a rock girlfriend/wife subjects you to long nights of being alone. Or, you may have to sit patiently at the bar while you watch your boyfriend flirt back with girls to sustain the mystery of his availability. Or, he may want you to attend some of his gigs and listen to songs you’ve heard hundreds of times.

In essence, you can be one. But you must leave your insecurities at the door if you’re willing to succeed in the relationship and not become a cliche.

I'll continue the rest of this conversation in another post...

glen gould and fingertips.

2011-05-20T22:54:00.001-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB76jxBq_gQ

Watch Glen Gould play his piano. I think he felt every note. No, he didn't write this Bach piece, of course. But, to have this intrinsic energy connecting to every note: this should be our goals as musicians. We should feel every deliberate connection to sound.
May you always feel this passion running through your fingertips.

mothers: don't let your children grow up to be cowboys... or lead singers

2011-05-19T17:07:00.001-04:00

I have my ritual before a show. Some parts of the ritual I will not share because I would not share it with anyone. But, some parts of the ritual I will. Throughout the years, I now have it timed out exclusively.

-I won't wear makeup all day, but a few hours before hand, I'll pack it on.
-I warm up my voice several hours before in the shower.
-I curl my hair. It's just something that I do because I feel more beautiful when I curl my hair. It
     makes me feel more confident.
-I place myself in a little Kriss Cave, where I like to spend time alone and listen to 70s pop
     music and watch King of the Hill. Still not sure why.
-I make my Kriss singer's juice, which is tea with a whole lotta lemon juice and a few other
     organic ingredients.I carry it with me before and during sets. The lemon juice makes it
     look like pee, which is gross, and I've definitely received curious questions about it.
     NO, it's not pee.
- and, I NEVER drink dairy the day of a show.

When I see lead singers take a nice big swig of beer during a set, I cringe. Yes, we do need to use up our drink tickets, but my God, their vocal chords! It's the first thing that I think of: I think of that person's vocal chords. Singers, please don't abuse your vocal chords! If you fuck them up, it could be, potentially, forever.

My mother always tries to scare me with Mary Poppins. Well, the woman who played Mary Poppins, Julie Andrews. Ms. Andrews suffered from a botched vocal chord surgery. After the surgery, she was told that she might not be able to sing again. Regardless, know that if you don't care for your instrument, you could damage it permanently. Why mess it up on stage while all of the adrenaline is rushing through you?

Also part of the pre-show ritual is that Robert and I will snap at each other. We always do. It's just part of the way we blow off steam and the tension of remembering everything before leaving for the venue. It may freak out the other band members a little bit, but to Robert and I don''t think twice about it. Totally normal, just don't say anything to anyone that you can't take back.

These days, I very rarely get nervous before a show. Somehow, though, my body seems to know and may react via nervous stomach. But, the phenomenon that is most intriguing is that it never reaches my brain, just my body.

Many musicians won't admit it, but they get diarrhea before a show. Full-on nervous poops. Totally normal. I am not admitting that I poop, because I don't. I'm just saying that some musicians talk about it before a show and some performers do.

Just some stuff I've noticed over the years.

the worst show I ever had..... part 2...and CONCLUSION, dude.

2011-05-18T15:52:00.001-04:00

Hark! Here cometh the Magic Band at 9:10 pm, Eastern Standard Time! The band did there thing, playing for the crowd. My body was shaking. I had the pre-show jitters and the booming, professional speakers that were blaring and making the floor rumble didn't help. These speakers were no crappy used Guitar Amps. These speakers were the real things. I got a little tense. Soon, I began pacing. I watched the time on my wristwatch while glancing up at the Director. The Director stopped being my friend about two hours ago.

The Magic Band announced that they were about to play their last song through some unseen act of compassion. I was relieved. I figured that they were going to eat up the rest of the hour. We plugged in the amps and the cords at 9:30pm. We looked at each other and started playing our circumcised set. I announced who were were and off we went.

The sound on the stage was magnificent. I could hear every instrument at once, like it's supposed to be. The music was in unison. If one of us had made a mistake or flubbed a note, it surely would not have been because of lack of hearing one another. This was no drippy, dark bar. I could have sang on that stage for hours.

I announced our name once more (I wanted to get the most out of this) and began our third song.
Off we went into the first verse when I recognized another woman's voice over the monitor system saying that we had to end our set. Yes, she really said that, fucking mid-song! It would have been more dignified to have just pulled out a huge shepard's crook. It might have been more dignified.

I looked at Davis, Mario and Robert and shook my head. We grabbed the car, loaded up and got the fuck out of there. The band and I ended the evening at Manuels. I ordered the best onion rings and Sweetwater beer that I had ever had.

I learned something about myself that day. I decided that I would no longer be jealous when I heard that bands landed great gigs playing with Someone Else Much Bigger Than Me. Because, at the end of the day, sometimes a gig is just a gig. Sometimes you play high prestige shows where no payback materializes. And, then you have one more "all access pass" that gets stored in your dresser drawer.

Three months later, I received a package in the mail with the U.S. Social Forum sticker on it. Inside was a 'thank you' note for playing. Oh, and, here are five canvas tote bags! I should have walked my dog and used them for poop bags and sent them back. But, that probably wouldn't have been very nice.

the worst show I ever had..... part 1

2011-05-17T21:40:00.001-04:00

I hate the days after a bad show. It's like eating onions, and no matter how many times you brush your teeth or use mouthwash the taste is there. I find that I have to wait until the next show, whenever that's scheduled, to wash the taste out of my mouth. I feel that for all the times we've played out, bad shows are pretty rare. Sure, they happen. But, more good shows happen in between. If you were to ask me of one of the worst shows I've ever played, hands down it would have been for the U.S. Social Forum in 2007.

The U.S. Social Forum was a huge event where thousands were anticipated to event. Three days of festivities and a large venue, the Atlanta Civic Center amongst other smaller venues happening simultaneously. Activists from all over the country were flying to Atlanta to attend. And, STREZO was playing it. This was great! STREZO was playing the stage at the Atlanta Civic Center! We could reach so many activists who will like our music! We were playing THE first night concert.

Ah, the activities for the first day of the U.S. Social Forum were vast. A parade happened where activist organizations from all over the country showcased themselves. Stands of plenty of civil rights organizations and social concerns were everywhere. There were tents inside and outside of the Atlanta Civic Center showcasing various causes and organizations. Feminists! There was even a vegetarian burrito stand.

But, playing the event? The experience was...awful. First off, the Director of the event demanded twenty-four hours beforehand, that at least one representative from each band be present by 1:30pm that Friday. "Participation was mandatory," stated the email. I didn't have to work that day, so, I was able to be there. Crisis averted.

That Friday, I loaded all of our equipment in myself, I am proud to boast. Okay fine, Davis and Mario brought and carried their drums when the arrived later that night. But I carried the amps and stuff. There were no parking passes for the bands, so I'd have to eat that cost. Fine.

We were assigned our own dressing room, with our own washroom. Yes, our own dressing room one where big acts did whatever they did before they got on stage. This dressing room most likely saw some famous names: James Brown, Ray Charles, Melissa Etheridge! Prince may have even got a blowjob in this room! And, now, I was putting on makeup in the very same mirror. STREZO has arrived, sort of.

This dressing room was a sure step up from what we were used to; the dank afterthought, unheated room in the back of the bar which may or may not contain a place to sit, change or relax. The room also may or may not contain the creepy Backstage Couch where countless people had puked, passed out, fucked, got high or who-knows-what-else went on. Backstage Couch is always the type of couch you want to spray down with Lysol beforehand. Nowadays, I've wised up and I carry hand sanitizer to shows. If I had enough hand sanitizer, I'd coat the Backstage Couch until it was sopping wet.

Everything should have gone swimmingly at the ol' U.S. Social Forum, but...
The rest of the band were unable to attend until 6pm, at the time when everyone commuted from work. I was sitting in the area all day. I brought books and magazines to occupy my nerves. There was no caterer (fine), and no food anywhere backstage. I got hungry. And, when I get hungry, I get mean and dizzy. I asked the director's assistant if they knew where food was. Anywhere. I'm sitting around dizzy and pissed off wondering when I can eat when somebody can relieve me.

They didn't want me going too far away, because soon we'd be soundchecking on stage. Okay. But, I'm fucking hungry. The Director finally decided that she and her co-workers would share some of their food, but not before made a big deal about sharing. Um, thanks?

I chowed down that processed food bar like nobody's business. And, then the band showed up. We soundchecked and then waited...some more.

The plan was that a band, the Director's darlings, would walk and play from the stage outside and lead the crowd into the auditorium where the concert will continue. But, the time line became incredibly skewed. The band wasn't en route anymore. And, the Director had no idea as to when the Magic Band was working its bullshit Pied Pipper way into the massive building. We're all waiting.
Our band and the other bands were told that the Magic Band will be here...any...minute. But, then 20 minutes flew by and there were still people in the auditorium chairs chatting and looking bored.

Looking out into the crowd from the curtain, I politely suggested to the Director that another band hop on stage and finish a set first. The Director declined.

She stayed firm, "the band will be traveling from the stage soon."
This back and forth conversation lasted for another 20 minutes. I reminded her that we had loyally waited all day to perform and now it was approaching 9pm. At this point, I refused to leave her side, even after she suggested that I could go back to my dressing room, where I would be called when the time comes. Nope. I don't care how bored I get, I'm not leaving.

The Director then stated to one of her subordinates that there may be a chance that the other bands may not be able to play anyhow. (WHAT?!) You see, the contract that the U.S. Social Forum organizers had with the Atlanta Civic Center claimed that all entertainment had to end by 10pm. Or, there would be fines involved. And, it wasn't in the budget. And, there are 3 other bands waiting.

nope. nope. nope. no. no. no fucking way.

Now, I can be a flexible person. I can also be a HUGE pain in the ass when I set my mind to it. And, after an entire day of doing nothing with nothing to show for it, I was reaching my incompetence boiling point. As I stood backstage behind the curtain, I watched the crowd sitting and chatting in their seats. I knew that they'd eventually meander to another room.

I pleaded my case. The Director's Subordinates even began questioning the Director. I had finally gained some advocates. After all, now I'm on a mission. This is not for ego stroking. This is me trying to salvage a whole day and maybe play the instruments I unloaded eight hours ago.

Meanwhile, the rest of STREZO was considering packing up and leaving. Robert was cautiously pacing and trying to deter me from asking the Director every four minutes if we could play. Mario and Davis were talking drums and had ran out of instruments to discuss.
"We can't leave. We WILL play," I implored. They had not invested as much time in the day as I had.

A faint sound of a tuba could be heard. Then it got closer, closer still.
The Director nodded in satisfaction. Her Magic Band was arriving.
TO BE CONTINUED....

guest speaker: Robert on

2010-06-04T20:54:00.000-04:00

Robert has had enough and wants to clear the air about being a sound guy. So, here's his plea below...

Hey how’s it going. This is Robert, Kristen’s husband. I’m a sound-person, the guy who puts the mic in front of you and mixes your stage sound, and I’ve got something to say. I must have missed the last issue of ‘Boring Singer-Songwriter’ monthly. It had that great article about bringing your own mic. The last three singer-songwriters I’ve had the pleasure of working with, brought their own mics.

If you have mic of your own that’s great, maybe it’s a cool looking one for your visual aesthetic like a Super 55 or a PCM-200 (you know, one of those big radio-host mics). Or maybe you like the way it sounds with your voice like a Sennheiser or something. But these 3 folks brought SM-58’s. Each of them brought the most common vocal mic ever. Don’t get me wrong, the more pro-active and involved you are, the better.

It’s just a pet peeve, I guess. But PLEASE don’t take my 58, unplug it, set it on the floor and plug in your 58. Maybe you’re a germ-a-phobe. Well then don’t eat the freakin’ thing. Maybe your 58 sounds better? Well my 58 hasn’t spent 20 years sitting next to an ashtray, so it doesn’t. Maybe it’s a good luck charm? Well I’m sure you can play your G and D chords just fine without it. If you want to bring your own mic, bring a wireless headset mic like the aerobics instructors have. That would be cool. No really, I don’t mean to sound like a negative Nelly, I am truly a grateful Garcia for all the people whom I run sound for. Peter Pet-Peeve just needed to get something off his chest.

Love,

Robert

PS – There are a lot of asshole sound guys out there, but we’re not all like that. Some of us actually give time and attention to your set and are respectful and kind. Always assume that your sound guy is of the latter category.

our musical fantasy world

2010-05-08T15:15:00.000-04:00

A good friend called the other day, lamenting. Life's a drag at the moment and he began to
wish he was back on tour. To him, he could not be back on the road sooner.
"Sure you would," I stated, "because it's a fantasy land."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, in tour-land, time stands still. There are no obligations, no bills to see, no worries of mowing the lawn, your life is all a dreamland."

And, I feel that way. Your time stands still on the road. There are no obligations aside from making sure there's enough money to get you to the next town, making sure you remember to eat and making sure you're on time for your set. Sure, you have to check in with family members and friends to assert that you're still alive. Aside from that, it's all freestyle.

Touring is hard, though. There is a lot that you can't always control, like the weather or money. Yet, for a musician whose head is in the clouds half the time anyhow, the road, although gritty and uncertain, cannot be beat.
You, on the road, have a fantastic opportunity to use the restroom at the very first Kentucky Fried Chicken. Or, you can get stared at by the locals as you pump gas. The open road is a fantasy world full of those claw machines where you try to win stuffed animals and seedy truck stops where taking a shower looks like paradise. The road is cool, but it's not all candy. I have some important advice that I hope you'll consider:

+Ladies: I have a firm rule that I never go through a truck stop or rest stop unaccompanied.
I feel that this is essential, for it's far too easy to disappear in anonymous places such as these. Nothing more to say about it.

+DON'T DRINK THE MONEY YOU EARN! You know, from the door or from the merch table? Seeing how you usually get a few drink tickets from the venue, it's easy to get the party started. However, this drink ticket phenomenon can get easily carried away once the other band members use up all the tickets on you (like in my case) or you have friends in which you want to buy drinks. Cash can easily vanish into alcohol. But, don't let it. Did you forget why you're touring to begin with? You're on that road to get your name out there and, at least, recoup your time.

+Andrew Zimmern, you know, that one guy on cable that travels to countries and eats food in which his Western culture is often repelled? Yeah, him. He advises to never drink the water of where you travel, as that is his life source. It's good advice. Better drink bottled water along the way or end up at the original KFC (see above).

+And, above all, trust your instincts. I know, I'm always advising that. But, in many ways, we're a lot more saavy and wise than we think we are. It's better to go with your gut then to think back saying, "I had a feeling about that".

Best,
Kristen Strezo

body image, me and you

2010-01-12T11:13:00.012-05:00

So, as a female performer, body image and the female body is one topic in which I'll defensively pick up my baseball bat every time. I have no problem trying to call the media out on its stupidity. I believe staunchly that voices curtailing poor media behavior is critical.

Back in December, I wrote a strong- winded message to the editor-in-chief of Parenting Magazine. In all honesty, I hold no subscription to the magazine. Some company found out I gave birth and I ended up on a mailing list somewhere. I knew it would happen eventually.

My message/email was attempting to call Parenting Magazine out on poor behavior which I found downright sad. The image that inspired me was a sickly looking, barely legal
girl on a scale holding a donut. The article was discussing dieting after a baby. I was livid. Below is the email I sent to the editor-in-chief of Parenting Magazine. So... shall we?

-------

To Whom It May Concern:
I'm writing in response to your December/January issue, in which I am extrodinarily disappointed with Parenting magazine.

Between your pages of cookie recipes (pg. 51) and gingerbread cake (pg. 55) is a pathetic looking woman with pre-pubesencent hips holding a donut (pg. 35)!
More tragic is your judgment that anyone would consider that this sickly, little thing had actually ever given birth!

Please give some credit to your readers.
If those reading your pages actually are concerned about newborn phenomena such as why a newborn's hair falls out shortly after birth, then they may still be working off the pregnancy pounds. Perhaps some more thought-provoking articles such as the Goldman article, Living Positively?

Your Stinky Diaper Awards was a great idea, calling out neglectful and plain ol' stupid behavior in the media. Via your lead, I'm slinging a dirty diaper your way.
I'm simply asking for you to stay consistent with your message. That anorexic thing on pg. 35 was a poor choice in judgment for Parenting.

Your readers are more intelligent than you give them credit for being.
Kristen Strezo
--------

And that's my way of being Grandpa Simpson.
In the original, I spelled "extraordinary" wrong. Whoops. I left that for you to read and me to tease myself. Aside from that, I thought that I was pretty fair in my beating.

Today, I received an email from Parenting saying that they want to publish my email in their reader comments section. I snickered a bit, not gonna lie. I gave the editor a call and asked her what they were planning on saying, for my letter was not very kind. Together we read my letter. She said that she was going to print the part commending Parenting Magazine on their Stinky Diaper Awards! Not kidding you.

I questioned why she wanted that comment and not my anorexic-donut-thing comment. She said that they received a lot of feedback from the image of the sickly girl on page 35 (my words, not hers). She stated that Parenting Magazine is choosing a letter from California instead.

I went along with my letter being printed to see where this goes, to experiment with the process and chronicle my experience within it. But, here's a plain as crystal way that this magazine found a way to commend itself, despite the criticism. John Lennon said it best in a song who's title I dare not repeat:

We make her bear and raise our children
then we leave her flat for being a fat old mother hen

Not much has changed from when Yoko and John penned those words all those years ago.
Let's see where this goes, folks...

UPDATE!
So, as it turns out, they printed my words in Parenting Magazine. And-- the editor twisted my words to make them serve Parenting Magazine.
Match my above letter to what they printed below. They actually found a way to help themselves in the midst of their ridiculous sexism. Here's their printing in the Mother'Hood 'Letters' Section on page 20 of their March 2010:

Ok, we goofed. And it was in our December/January issue, which touched upon weight loss: "The woman with the doughnut in her hand in your 'New Years Anti-Resolution' didn't have an ounce of fat," wrote Melanie Todd of Bogalusa, LA, "you dropped the ball on this one, ladies." And while some of you got a kick out of our Stinky Diaper Awards ("Calling out plain ol' stupid behavior was a great idea," wrote Kristen Strezo of Atlanta) some of you objected to our including Bristol Palin's "do as I say, not as I do" award.

That's the one and only time that I better ever be mentioned in the same paragraph as Palin. Ever. But, at least Parenting Magazine found a way to align itself with the brand name of idiocy, hypocrisy and absurd stupidity, aka Palin.

And, a word to the wise for all readers: make sure that you get an exact copy of what will be printed before you give your ok to go to print.
No harm, no foul- just a lesson learned from a shitty magazine.

But, to be honest, what can you expect? For, what kind of ethics can you expect from a magazine that phishes its readership from registry lists and wastes unknown amounts of trees in unwanted yearly subscriptions to Parenting Magazine all over the country??!

lyrically, back that thing up

2009-10-02T17:22:00.003-04:00

Lyrics are tough. They can be difficult to create, but also tough to remember. And, don't ever rely on a fellow bandmate to remember what the hell your singing. From what I've found, you can be singing LA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA-LA-LA and noone would suspect you weren't singing words.
It's not really their fault. For the most part, bassists and drummers can hear the rhythms your singing, but rarely your words. It's the singer's obligation to know what they're singing.

Nick Cave's done a lot of drugs. You can tell. Performance-wise, I can't imagine how a brain functions after being stir fried for so many years. But, rehab aside, what he does onstage is something I've adopted for myself. Live, he carries a hollowed-out book with lyrics in it. Then, when he forgets the words via a synapse-lapse or whatever, the words are right in his fingers. Not everyone knows why he's carrying the book. He kinda looks like a sleazy preacher doing it. No doubt, a hollowed-out book looks way cooler than any binder.

I actually have two binders with lyrics. I have a MASTER binder version that never leaves my house, and I have a LIVE binder that attends all the shows. The LIVE binder functions as a resource for any lyrics to which I've absolutely spaced on while performing. The font is big so that I can see it from a distance. The last place I'd ever want to be is onstage with eyes staring at me, and me not knowing what to do next. The LIVE binder has my back. So, I put the LIVE binder on the floor when I perform. From there, I can crawl to the binder if I need to, or crouch over it. I've seen Michael Stipe put his on a music stand, but I think that's kinda pretentious. Ah, tomatoes, tom-ahh-toes.

The MASTER binder is my main resource for any song that Robert & I have evert written. In it are the lyrics to all songs. Some song lyrics tell me that I've improved on my skills, others are good to forget and some are forgotten jewels. Either way, the MASTER binder is an invaluable resource to have. If you're short a song in a set and want to go retro, dig up an old tune that you don't remember writing. And -viola- the lyrics are all there for you. Believe me, nothing's more frustrating than having words on the tip of your tongue that may never again be retrieved. For going pro, to me, it's the only way.

I advise you to ALWAYS back up your lyrics. Having that binder/book/resource around will help ensure that you don't end up onstage with your proverbial dick in your hands. Above all, it's just a good idea to be prepared.

Best,

Kristen Strezo

Thank you, Guitar Hero & Rock Band!

2009-09-23T14:34:00.001-04:00

If I, in fact, have an image, my image is indifference. I am the uncool-cool chick. That's my thing. I know nothing about what's hip or cool. I could give a crap if my finger's on the pulse of the newest thing. I like to consider myself a hip ostrich, for I stick my head underground to the latest fads. I know that if I can hear echoes up above of hipness that it must be significant and saturated in our culture. So goes the time when I was first introduced to Rock Band/Guitar Hero. I was so very thrilled.

It all started when I was at a good friend's party one evening about a year ago. The hippest of the hip lesbians were all there. Suddenly, someone suggested that it's time to play Rock Band. I had absolutely no idea what that meant and out of nowhere a miniature guitar and a teeny drum set materialized The crowd focused their attention to the center of the living room where people began agreeing on who was going "first".

I'm one of those girls that thinks that video games are BORING, so I heard a big groan in my head. Robert was sitting next to me, and he was just as bumblefucked as I was.

Then, on the TV screen, sprouted a little rock band that played the songs you chose. Your goal was to keep up with the song. They had the Rolling Stones, Nirvana, The Pixies, all kinds of options. The graphics were pretty cheesy, but you can't win them all...

Shanananza, who was "playing" guitar turned to me and said, "it takes forever to learn how to play the instruments. You know, if I took the time to learn to play real guitar, I might actually get somewhere." It was at that moment that I had a moment of comfort to myself. Video games such as Guitar Hero and Rock Band offers a stimulating solution for the masses.

You see, all those would-be musicians can have their own successful band! You will never have to pay for them or get into arguments with their insecure girlfriends, for they live on your TV screen! Unlike the drummer joke: how do you get a drummer out of your house (Answer: pay him for the pizza), you never HAVE to have a drummer in your house.

Shanananza's words have resonated with me since I first heard them. She was so right. In the time that you take to learn these games, you CAN play the real thing. For long-time musicians such as me, perhaps my husband, I find comfort in their presence. In essence, it's thinning the herd. With the assistance of Guitar Hero and Rock Band, you can live out your rock & roll fantasies without going into debt at Guitar Center. Or --as bluntly as possible-- without putting out crappy music and constipating the music scene with your musical bad ideas. Or, one more cover band banking on the ideas of people who went first.

VOCIFEROUS WAIL --fond memories of the worst practices spaces

2009-08-29T08:48:00.000-04:00

VOCIFEROUS WAIL!
By Kristen Strezo

Fond Memories of the Worst Practice Spaces

Charles Bukowski wrote “hell is a closed door when you’re starving for your god damn art.” This week I’d like to take a moment to reminisce about what we settle for just to make our art: our music. The single most metaphor of what we’re willing to put up with to make that music is the rental practice space. I don't think that many people would disagree with me that rental practice spaces are the some of the scummiest places on earth. I’m not talking about the people who practice there, I’m talking more about the buildings themselves.

Out of personal experience, every band I’ve been in has always gone the cheap route. And, to be expected, every practice space we've ever used has somehow sneaked past being condemned. One summer, it was particularly moist in the practice space and all of our equipment grew mold. It’s just what we figured we would have to accept to play our music for what we could afford, which wasn’t much. For everyone slummin’ it at a rental practice space, you have to deal with crazy circumstances that you wouldn’t normally put up with if it wasn’t for your band.

Matt Cherry of Maserati has had some rough practice space memories. “Before I was in Maserati, I was in a Slint cover band that practiced in Buckhead Beach, an old warehouse in Athens. This was before it was converted into lofts. There were literally holes in the walls and when it snowed, it actually came through those holes. It was so cold!” Matt remembers that the group would hover around the tiny space heater that could. But, it’s heat was never enough. He adds, “my fingers would be so cold that they would freeze up while playing.”

Candice Jones of The Coathangers also remembers her practice space walls looking like swiss cheese. She and her bandmates covered the walls with cardboard and duct tape to make the space less dank. “There was always a guy lingering around the outside, I think he was on some kinda speed.” But dank holes with derelicts lurking about is what memories are made of. She continues, “we were used to screaming during practice, because sometimes cockroaches would fall on you. One practice, the cardboard and duct tape came loose while we were playing and behind the cardboard was the junkie guy staring at us! We all began to scream!” she says. Today her band has graduated to a much better space, where comfort is not a problem. “Still,” she says, “I miss those funny moments.”

Be it bugs, snow or overhearing poorly executed covers of Pink Floyd over and over again, these situations have fundamental, underlining purposes. Though difficult and uncomfortable at times, these moments cement the bonding experience between you and your bandmates. We let our passion forget what we put up with to play our music, to play out in clubs. Still, I’d be willing to bet that there wouldn’t be many people who would exchange their experiences. Besides, it makes great fodder for songs.

The Coathangers are back in Atlanta after a North American tour. Their latest album is titled Scramble.

Maserati is in the studio recording their 5th album and have a US tour coming up this Fall opening for the band MONO.

Always a mistress...

2009-08-17T09:49:00.002-04:00

They're moody, unpredictable and passionate. Add to that whimsical, chaotic and musky. There's just something sexy about musicians. Admit it: we all get a little dizzy when we feel like a kinda hot musician is hitting on us. But, closing the deal and bringing one home to mom is a whole different story. I know I've had my fair share of sexual attractions to musicians. And, why not? To me, the ones that aren't sexist or egotistical makes me blush just a little. So, if you're daydreaming about committing to your musical companion, there are some things you must seriously consider.

Sure, there are beautiful, wild, creative moments. You may share a profound glimpse into what they're working on in that rare sensitivity that is reserved only for you. For one, to the dedicated musician, music and playing out is an addiction to which no one can compete. An established musician is playing out and devoting many hours to their true love: their music. You may come first, but you must also consider that you may very well come second. You will be a mistress to an ever-present, ethereal love. A love that you will never be able to push from your life. A love that, if you're wise, you should never try to eradicate from theirs.

Personally, I married my musical writing partner. It isn't always a struggle. In fact, in our case, it rarely is. But, do you have the stamina to compete for the love of a musician? That answer can only truly be answered by knowing yourself. You must be entirely honest with yourself. Furthermore, you must know your limits when it comes to love. If you are seeking longevity in a relationship, the love buzz wears out after a couple of months/years. After that it's just you and them working, hopefully, for common goals. And, as with any one, eventually the little things you found cute grow to be loudly irritating.

You must be a strong couple when you are the second love to an invisible force that is music; undefinable, yet omnipresent. From my experience and what I've witnessed around me, I have come to the conclusion that you have two routes you can take. On the first route, you can be the possessive, unrealistic and insecure lover. Or, you can choose to be cool and patiently forgiving. It isn't easy. Know though, that if you choose the first path, it will be excruciatingly difficult to seal the deal into commitment. Just a common thread I've noticed around me from other musicians. Besides, it's foolish to think that you can distract a lover from being themselves, really.

I think that you have got to have your own things going on to live with a passionate musician. You need your own passions, or your own established life where you can meet in the center. For, if you sit around waiting for him/her to get home, you're going to go from mad, madder to maddest. Reconcile that you may always be second to their passion of creation. And, there's nothing you can do about it. Acknowledge the fact that you will be waiting up late into the night while you wait for him/her to return from the studio. Or, your lover could be on tour for weeks on end, while you sit home alone eating dinner.

It's not an easy job being the spouse/committed partner of a musician. Know that coming into it. Please, please do not ignore it and hope that you can change them for whatever reason. For, if you do, you are selfishly caging a bird that will one day bite you...and will most likely fly away. You can make it happen, but, again, know thyself.

I welcome your comments and your own experiences.
Best,
Kristen Strezo

the fear of public speaking x 100

2009-06-14T09:02:00.000-04:00

Glossophobia: the severe fear of public speaking. Survey after survey of fears reveal that public speaking is one of the most common fears. I guess it's just common knowledge that public speaking scares the hell out of a lot of people. It scares people more than death! Likewise, getting up on stage and performing music live can be an absolutely terrifying experience. It can be a nightmare factory. Whether you're new to the performing thing or if you've been doing this a while and you just want to get comfortable onstage, here are some tips to help you:

A couple of days before the show, put on an exclusive pre-show for your most supportive of friends. Have them either come to your practice space or your living room to watch your set. The goal is to create a positive first impression for you and create some confidence to get you onto the steps of the stage.

You can also practice a few songs by doing an open mic somewhere. You'll be surrounded by a lot of people trying out new stuff. The great part is that everyone's always a little nervous. The open mic environment is a great way to get accustomed to performing for crowds.Plus, you'll have a crowd of strangers watching you. You'll also be able to hear what it sounds like for your instrument or voice to resonate in bar.

Bach's Rescue Remedy. I knew it was good, but then I saw the winner from the first season's Project Runway (Jay something?) taking it like candy. It was then that I realized it was even more effective than I thought. If Jay Something could steer through NYC's nasty, petty fashion cathouse and excel as the victor, anybody could. Sure, his talent and producer's opinion had something to do with it, too, but I'm just saying. Bach's Rescue Remedy rocks. I take it on tours when we drive through the mountains.

I could also tell you that alcohol consumption helps take the "edge" off. However, I do discourage it. Here's why: One or two beers before every show adds up really quick and can easily form a dependency. The more you play, the more you may get superstitious and create your little rituals before a show. Including alcohol in that ritual is a foolish move.

Channel the confidence you had when you were a child and you first learned to tie your shoes. Remember that pride? It was quite a feat back in the day. Even though you may be jittery when the gig actually occurs, remember that it takes courage to be yourself in front of a room full of strangers who may or may not like what you're putting out there. It takes real guts.

Best,
Kristen Strezo

band posters: what goes around comes around

2009-06-05T22:33:00.001-04:00

I'm attempting to start a new trend regarding band poster etiquette, because I've had it. I say let's try to be civil to one another and not tear down any promo band posters before their expiration date. Whaddya think?

Here's how it usually goes when you're doing your own promo work: you can flyer and flyer around town, but even though you do, it still requires some heavy maintenance and upkeep. Seems every time you turn around, your flyers have disappeared. No, not every location or venue you flyer will turn your promos into a vortex, but there are certain hotspots. If you think about it for a few minutes, I'm sure you could think of a couple of venues where your flyers just don't seem to stick.

Personally, I am tired of hanging up posters only to find some (or most) gone when I go to check on them less than a week later. I mean, really, what's the good of ripping them down? I've come to the conclusion that if you mess with the Band Poster Gods by taking down a poster before it's date you will incur a punishment. That punishment is that you suffer under the karma of having it done to you. I've determined that there are only 3 reasons to justify poster snatching and they are as follows:

The first reason is because the event already happened and your poster is taking up valuable real estate on an events board (or window).

The second reason would be because of sexist/racist/homophobic posters.
I've resided myself to the fact that I will always tear them down with little thought. I've only done it once. But, I'll do it again if given the chance. The poster in question had a gagged, penitent-looking woman on all fours wearing a saddle. The sexist posters I tore down all around town were obviously seeking some negative attention. And as effortless as swatting a fly, I had all those flyers within a four mile radius in the trash.

The third would be a bit of a confession (with even less guilt). A minor exception for poster snatching would be flyers of a different, very well budgeted genre. Kinda plasticized performers such as Elton John, Cher and/or Dave Matthews have been victimized by my poster snatching. I figure that they're all doing just fine without their much bigger color poster in my way. Plus, they have more of a cross-media mega-PR approach assuring that plenty of people get in to pay their $185 per ticket.

Although I'm a bit of a betta fish when it comes to competition in the music scene, I am quite steadfast when it comes to my stance on poster snatching. I feel it's all an issue of karma. Sexist/racist posters and Elton John aside, tear down somebody's poster before it's expiration date and you are bound to have yours gone. One thing that seems to be missing from any music scene is the collective pulling together. I say: let's try to boost each other up. Hooray for everybody! Just put some blind faith into the ether. Imagine that for every poster you respect, someone will respect yours and go out of their way to make sure it's visible till it's show date. I know it seems kinda corny, but just try it. The universe is funny in the way you get back what you put out. Put it out, folks. Put it out.
Best,
Kristen Strezo

portable internets that can easily fall into a toilet or lake

2009-05-05T09:11:00.000-04:00

Our drummer recently bought an phone that can very easily get onto the internet, and my husband has been very affected by it ever since. Robert now wants one as well and brings it up more and more often. Not one to be swayed by technology, his sudden amorous feelings towards the gadget makes me think deeper about getting one. I don't know much about it, but I know it gets you on the internet, you can get a good view of your emails to keep track of bookings and quick responses. You can also impress your friends with mundane facts about pop culture very quickly and settle even the slightest fueled bar argument.

Davis (who drums with us when he's not touring the country with his other band, The Ghosts Project) uses it to book shows. It was this fact that got Robert's wheels spinning as to how much he wants one. Once Davis said it out loud, it seemed like an immediately good idea. Ever since then it's been internet-phone this and internet-phone that.

I can't deny the effectiveness of it, either. Since the baby wants to stay up with us late, late into the night, it's really easy to get discouraged. By the time she's asleep, we're both ready to crawl into the crib and start snoring. So, to keep momentum, these internet phone-thingys might be the answer for Robert and I. I mean, here it is: a way to infuse your band career with the day-to-day errands. As parents, we are the ones who must adapt to the change we have chosen for our lives. The more we deny that, the more frustrating and discouraging it may become.
So goes the saying: insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.

So, how do you tie in to all of this? How do you keep moving forward when life keeps stepping in front of you? ADAPT.
I use my example because it's an obvious one, but there are many time constraints to consider for we unstable musicians. With time always ahead of you, an occasional inventory considering the effectiveness of your routine might be a good suggestion. One example, if you find yourself more and more strapped for time, is to consider adapting with a internet phone jobber.

Also, know thyself and thy routine. Know what time of day is the most effective for you and exploit it like nobody's business. If you're a morning person, get up even earlier to do what needs to get done. Night owl? Utilize your flow to the utmost.

Lastly, as you build the prestige of your band, go easy on yourself. Timelines are not always relevant in this industry. Do the best you can, but understand that anything and nothing is always possible.

It is too easy to criticize ourselves and the work we failed to do because we fell asleep or just wanted to sit on the couch and watch tv after a long, hard day. Go easy on yourself. It's only fair.
Listen: the drive, the creativity, the music will always be there. But, for now, exhale. And, when you are able to: adapt.

-Best,
Kristen Strezo

How far the umbilical cord stretches: a discussion on playing out while parenting.

2009-04-08T17:35:00.000-04:00

This week's entry considers the life choices we make and how it intertwines with being a musician. I ask: can you perform out of town as a parent?

Remember that for the serious performing musician, being on the road is an obligation. Out of town shows are a necessity if your band has intentions to grow. While being an active musician may be your life, above all you must remember all of those who are along for the ride. I'm speaking about your child/children and life partner/spouse.

I swear: every rock biography movie I've ever watched on cable about famous musicians has predictable patterns. You know what I'm talking about. There's the hospital scene letting the audience know that the musician had children or something, and then a later scene with the children running in the front yard with Daddy. Most rock or music movies are centered around male musicians galavanting around as their ladies wait calmly at home, going through the daily routine with the children. Rarely has a director considered the female musician or how friggen hard it is to be female on the road with babies at home. Well, I'm here to give a female perspective.

On our last out of town show (last weekend), I had the pleasure of chatting with Clark from the New York Disco Villans. He sensed my new parent anxiety of being hundreds of miles from baby. He was quick to console me and my preoccupations with an anedote of being the only parent home when the flu hits town. If you are lucky enough, like Clark, to have a 2 parent household or outside help, it makes touring much easier. If, however, you are both touring (as is our case), every decision you make for childcare is crucial. I'm here to offer some suggestions and thoughts about your future touring goals, out of town shows and how family factors into it all.

First and foremost: DO NOT MAKE ANY HASTY DECISIONS WITH CHILDCARE, NO MATTER HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE. Choose your caretakers very, very VERY carefully.

NEVER PUT YOUR MUSIC BEFORE THE BENEFIT OF YOUR CHILD.

Even if it is a big show and you do not want to cancel your appearance. I tell you wholeheartedly to cancel your show before ever leaving your child in any uncomfortable circumstance. If you are not 100% certain in your caregiver choice, do not move forward with them.

WATCH FOR SIGNS OF INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR.
If you witness any sign of inappropriate or irresponsible behavior in your prospective caregiver, heed it very cautiously. Watch for your prospective caregiver's attitude about sex. Ask yourself: have they ever talked about a sexual topic in front of you, perhaps out of place, in a conversation? If you feel - in any way - that this person could have it somewhere in them to act inappropriately in front of a child, then do not doubt your instincts, even if you perceive this person to be nice. DO NOT SECOND GUESS YOURSELF AND ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! This person will be changing diapers or bathroom accidents. You cannot have any reservations about the person you entrust to watch your child.

TEMPER = NO.
If the person you are considering to watch your child has any form of temper or short fuse, I say: ABSOLUTELY NOT. No questions asked.

DO NOT SECOND GUESS YOURSELF AND ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!
Even if you perceive this person to be "nice" always trust your inner voice. I mentioned this a few sentences ago, but I believe in it so strongly that I'm willing to risk being redundant.

Remember that, as a parent, it is your goal to create a responsible adult with as little baggage as possible. You can do your best by considering every step of the way, the security of your child. These are the sacrifices others spoke about as you were waiting for that baby to be born.

Who's watching the children will be a decision that you make again and again and again. If you wish to follow your goals and dreams as a musician, you will continuously run into this choice, whether local or out of town shows.

Best,
Kristen Strezo

Your dreams vs. the lives of others

2009-01-31T11:39:00.000-05:00

Your musical career will go a lot smoother if you get something ingrained in your head right now. You ready for this? Your goals and dreams are not the dreams of anyone else. Not your bandmates, not your girlfriend's, no one. What I mean to say is that as you assemble a band, perform with them and write songs with them, there's no guarantee of permanence. In fact, it's all pretty fluid.
A band is a microcosm whose chemistry is quite delicate. Its members must gel and have the capacity to respect each others' work and lifestyle. If this concept is impossible, I hate to be so blunt, but your band may be destined to fail. Or, the contrary might occur and you may be tormented with a cross-country tour with members you despise.
One night many years ago, Robert and I sat across from a theater group couple who, due to insanity, have been dropped from our lives since then. This couple had recently decided to turn themselves into a not-for-profit, we'll call them...Purple Raincloud Theater Group. In doing so, Purple Raincloud set out to obtain permanent members of their newly established organization. The woman of the couple stated her disappointment in the fact that her actors weren't interested in doing more for their organization. Her actors weren't willing to go out on a limb for Purple Raincloud or spend free time working on behalf of the organization.
I knew what she was saying. Back in the day when I was a perky, arrogant, ambitious 21 year old, I expected the same thing. Well, I'm still ambitious, I'm just more mellow now. I pointed out to this couple that their theater group was just that: their theater group. In other words, it is near impossible to expect other people to work for your visions if they are not being paid or are not reaping some immediate benefit.
People have their own lives to live. Every single person has their own dreams. And every single person's dreams vary. Maybe it was the potent margaritas, but I didn't really feel like what I told Purple Raincloud sunk in. Two years later they commended me for that comment so long ago. It was after another actor left a rehearsal, never to return, that they finally realized that no one is bound to their project in blood.
When I became pregnant in 2007 and announced it to our lineup, I experienced an unexpected surprise. Robert and I had to completely revise our lineup, because we were left with only half of the band's members. Perhaps they were upset about the possibility of losing momentum. Regardless, these things happen and you must prepare for them, mentally and also professionally. This may mean that you have to cancel shows or know other musicians who can sub for missing band members.
Life happens: job loss, the threat to behave like an adult and get into grad school, substance abuse problems can take over. Perhaps you may be confronted by a bandmate who wishes to move to another state. These are just a few examples of possible outcomes. All things are possible. What I’m trying to say is that bands are not really pragmatic. They are an organism whose members may oftentimes be temporary.
Blaming band members for their wishes to grow and/or change (if those plans don't include your band), I believe, is foolish. In a Buddhist sort of way, it only causes suffering for you. Think about it like this: while you're lamenting the absence of a bandmate, you may not be out searching for a replacement. Believe me, I've done my fair share of mourning the loss of bandmates. But, in most instances, a loss turned out to be hidden blessing. Sometimes I found even more dedicated, more talented and more professional replacements. Oh, and bandmates with better personalities and less baggage.
If your band members bail, there is no need for harassment or temper tantrums. Unless of course, they won't give back your gear. Sure, you are absolutely entitled to be frustrated and disappointed when band members move on. It happens. But I implore you to come back to the concept that your priorities are not the priorities of anyone else. Your musical experience will go a lot smoother when you realize that you alone hold the passion for your dreams. Likewise, I urge you to be grateful for the performers that have graced your path for the time that they have. You must realize that finding people to play your music or your ideas, even if for a small stretch of time, is a gift in itself.

Best,

Kristen Strezo

hecklers and haters.

2009-01-31T08:14:00.000-05:00

First, let me say that you should be thankful that you're not a stand-up comedian. I thank myself at least once a month that I've never felt the urge to get up on stage and make people laugh. See, comedians understand that you have to take you knocks. You will get verbally beaten up on stage by hecklers. Often. Think about it: the comedy club environment encourages hecklers. Walking onto a stage in an attempt to make people laugh has to totally suck if you don't have your own Comedy Central special.
Unlike we musicians, comedians who tour the country have to adapt their acts to their ever changing demographics. The routine that worked in Boston may totally flop in Salt Lake City. And, there's only one way to test if a routine works or not...
Those who can grow thick skin (or are at least quick-witted enough to ward off rebuttals) eventually earn their place on stage amongst the weathered professionals.

All that being said, if you stick with performing you will eventually run into hecklers. Lucky for me in all the years that we've performed, I've only run into two. One time back in 2000 when we played an arts complex a guy yelled for me to show my boobs. The other time happened in 2006 at a rough rock club here in ATL. Just days after Thanksgiving, we picked up the show last minute. We didn't have our regular 4 piece, it was just Robert and I and a Roland recorder.
I heard it was a tough place to play. I'll be the first to admit that we were out of place there. We're more artsy-provocative. I mean, we had backing tracks and an acoustic guitar. This venue wanted rockabilly and domestic beer the regulars could afford. I heard the animals in there throw beer cans at you sometimes. Ladies and Gentlemen: this is where the grown-up neglected children of Georgia go to drink.
It started probably in the third song. One of the regulars started in on me and my outfit while I was on stage (at least they weren't slamming our music). They continued being disruptive through the whole set. It was one of the few times I didn't feel comfortable on stage.
Alright, fine. We cut the set short, got the fuck out of there and let the yokels have their drinking hole.

I wish I could tell you methods to debunk heclkers. But, there really aren't any. Every experience is different. You will see for yourself what I mean. My advice to you is to take it as it goes. Don't get discouraged. Or, if you do, you're slimming the herd for the rest of us.

Am I bitter about my heckling experiences? Yeah, probably a little bit. But, it would never stop me from continuing. I'd rather be on the stage having the time of my life rather than cowering in the dark trying to impress my friends. We all take our knocks. If you get on a stage and perform professionally, prepare. For one day you will be heckled. An old Improv friend once told me, "you can be on the stage or in the audience. Make your choice." And, I did.
At least I'm not doing improv.

Best,
Kristen Strezo

Important rules on sound guys.

2009-01-30T21:21:00.000-05:00

As performers, we all need them. The sound guy (or gal) is an underpaid, skilled technician who would either be hanging out drinking or onstage himself if he wasn't babysitting your band. I think we should take a moment to validate the hard work that they have to do and the shit that they have to put up with. Below are a few suggestions on how to do your part (he has his part to not suck) before, during and after your performance.
Now, since I haven't worked with too many female sound people (though I know you exist somewhere), I'm using the gender as male in the following instances. You sound ladies know who you are. Come find me and I'll give you a sincere pat on the back or hug...

Rule #1: Don't piss them off.
The are a wide variety of ways in which you can go about not pissing off sound guys. Try to practice most of them.

Rule #2: Bite your tongue no matter how much of a dick he's being.
This one's the toughest to obey, but most valuable. Although surly sound guys are a dime a dozen, kiss his ass anyway. Remember: your goal for the night is to make it through your set sonically unscathed.

Rule #3: Get out of his way.
Don't be messing around onstage when he's trying to put his mics up. Step off the stage area and wait for his beckon call.

Rule #4: Do a good sound check.
Robert, my partner, advises: "Don't mumble into the mic. Don't yell into the mic. Sing your loudest song at the volume you plan on singing it onstage" I add: "no matter how much of a weenie you feel." Oh, and keep singing till he tells you to stop.
See, Rule #4 should be written for me. I don't do good sound checks. I feel like a dork sitting there singing a cappela. SO, I sing silly songs.
Ugh. And PLEASE don't do the "Yeah. Check. Hey. 1-2-3-4."
PLEASE don't do that. Engineers do that to check for sibilance in arena settings. We all know that this is the call of the arena rock roadie. Are you or were you once an arena rock roadie? No? Then, please don't do the call. Your sound check will not be permeating an acre's worth of land, so please don't do it. If you decide to do it anyway, know that somewhere out there I am snickering at you.

Rule #5: Introduce yourself.
Acknowledge him immediately. Don't act like you're too cool for Joe Schlub's Bar. He's responsible for making you sound good.

Rule #6: Watch your thumb while soundchecking.
Thumbs up doesn't mean "ok", it means "make this louder in the monitors". The little bunny rabbit symbol with the circle means "ok".

Rule #7 Don't act like a butthole.
Use the manners your parents gave you. If you weren't taught proper manners, well, I pity you and your band. Also, don't go around acting like numbskulls with your buddies. Mr. Sound Guy's seen it all before, probably last night, so you're not as witty as you think you are.

Rule #8: Don't be late.
You can put your makeup on in the car or in the can after you've done the sound check. Don't go around wasting everybody's time. Seriously.

Optional Rule #9: Show him some appreciation from stage.
Nothing boosts someone's confidence like feeling they're appreciated. If he's a sucky sound guy, don't sound sarcastic if you choose to do it. I've seen bands get the lights turned out on them while they were still playing. Of course that was in NYC at the Knitting Factory.

Rule #10: Burn no bridges.
You never know when you'll end up playing that venue again.
If Rule #2 applies, don't get in the last word before you load out, no matter how good it would feel. You never know if you'll end up at the same venue with the same jerk sound guy

Well, I think that's a good start. Abiding by at least a few of the rules should help your magical night run a lot smoother.

Feel free to email any questions you may have to kristen0227@gmail.com.

Best,
Kristen Strezo

VOCIFEROUS WAIL! a blog for performers & musicians

mariachi band serenades a beluga whale.

help London small labels

Pachelbel's revised Canon. Much better this time around.

I hear from string players that Pachelbel's Canon is one of the most annoying pieces to play because it's the same darn notes over and over and over again.

So, here's a cute video on the YouTubes doing something about it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v​=PxvGz_LUKoo

meh.

Today, Tuesday

American Medical Association issues a stance that photoshopped photos can be unrealistic and damaging

outdoor festival tips...

Music Festival Tips

detroit rock(s) city.

piano player.

the hardest postcard I ever wrote.

mijwiz-ical explorations in sound...

Viva Stonewall!

friends don't let friends...

time and motherhood.

Happy Father's Day, Robert!

a nod to the High Llamas

Tips for achieving prosperity.

our day will come.

rainy days and mondays.

farwell to a banjo.

Congress Hires Drummer.

found sounds all over town.

Guitar World Critique.

you have nothing to lose...

more on (moron) writer's block.

Black Girls Rock!

a word about tattoos...

old school face-off: Denver's Rocky Mountain High gets a kick from the BeeGee's Jive Talkin'

the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame actually acknowledges that women, in fact exist AND can play music

chance music

creativity and insanity (but the voices already told you it was true).

get you s*#@ off my stage!

press kits were once tossable

brick wall and rail road track shots (don't do it!)

London Calling: old thoughts, new blog

band girlfriend 3 CONCLUSION: a little male feedback

Support Your Local Band's Girlfriend Part 2

Support Your Local Band's Girlfriend Part 1

glen gould and fingertips.

mothers: don't let your children grow up to be cowboys... or lead singers

the worst show I ever had..... part 2...and CONCLUSION, dude.

the worst show I ever had..... part 1

guest speaker: Robert on

our musical fantasy world

body image, me and you

lyrically, back that thing up

Thank you, Guitar Hero & Rock Band!

VOCIFEROUS WAIL --fond memories of the worst practices spaces

Always a mistress...

the fear of public speaking x 100

band posters: what goes around comes around

portable internets that can easily fall into a toilet or lake

How far the umbilical cord stretches: a discussion on playing out while parenting.

Your dreams vs. the lives of others

hecklers and haters.

Important rules on sound guys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxvGz_LUKoo